She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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