And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
