i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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