is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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