i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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