Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize
