He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
