Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
