"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
