i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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