Quick, to the slutcave!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
