Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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