When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She's the barista slut.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
