Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize