I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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