sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
