Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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