We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't deserve a penis
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
