So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
