Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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