mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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