At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
