i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
