and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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