My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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