I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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