omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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