is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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