I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
