I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
