I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
