I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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