Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
