WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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