You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
