he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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