She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
