i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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