if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
