Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
