Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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