what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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