Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
