Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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