White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
