Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
