He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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