I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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