I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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