I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
