just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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